The Brightest Soul in the Room
This year marks my 24th year of teaching and honestly, I can hardly believe it. Over the years, I’ve worked in many schools, with many different people, and in many different places. I truly believe that none of it happened by accident. Every person and place was part of God’s divine plan, shaping and preparing me for the next phase of life.
There’s one chapter I’ll never forget, one of the hardest, both personally and professionally in my life.
I was entering my tenth year of teaching. I had just returned to work after giving birth to a baby girl who, without exaggeration, screamed colicky tears from 4:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. every day. I also had a little boy at home who was struggling in school, full of energy, and not progressing in reading. My husband had just been moved to a job he absolutely hated. I just didn’t know how to ask for help. I had friends, good ones, but admitting I was drowning felt like failure. I kept going but inside I was hurting a lot more than I would admit.
When it rains it pours. At school, my trusted co-teacher and dear friend Mrs. E had just been diagnosed with cancer. While we were both hopeful she could keep working, that didn’t turn out to be possible, and her position had to be filled. I just wanted her to heal and be healthy.
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| When life gives you lemons... |
Just when the walls were mentally closing in, Mrs. L walked into our lives.
Was I excited? Honestly, no. I was working in one of the most demanding classrooms in the school, and I worried that changing our team dynamic would make everything even harder.
But like I said, God knows what we need even when we don’t.
That year was one of my hardest, but Mrs. L remains the bright SUN in all those memories. She walked beside me each day as I tried to teach language, reading, and math through weekly themes- Dr. Seuss, snow, Fall, beach, bears, etc.
Mrs. L. met me theme for theme. Despite the craziness going on in my world, we wanted to create a supportive and loving environment for our kiddos who each had their own home school challenges. Mrs. L would make me laugh as she came in with bags of clay to make snowmen, handmade lopsided cupcakes for Dr. Seuss week, all-pink crafts for Cancer Awareness, and so many other thoughtful surprises. She led groups, told stories, sang songs, and always showed up.
I am telling the full truth when I say that every single day Mrs. L told me, “You are such a good teacher,” “These kids need you,” "You are enough". I didn’t know how much I needed to hear that but she did.
One day, I saw my son walk by in the hallway with his little tub of work. He smiled so big and said, “Hey Mama, I don’t get to go to the party.” I was a teacher leading PBIS at the time, but my own son didn’t have enough behavior points to attend. He had to go to a room to work. I laid my head on my desk and cried. I thought, “What am I doing wrong?”
Mrs. L, without missing a beat, told me: “You are amazing. Your son is amazing. It’s the system that is not right.” She was ahead of her time, and I took my cue from her. She was a great mom and she knew what mattered. It wasn’t the honor roll or the PBIS points- it was raising kind, compassionate humans that mattered.
(And spoiler alert, we both did just that if I say so myself.)
That was Mrs. L.
She could sense injustice, sense when someone was hurting, and she did everything she could to make things right. She studied law, and though she left that career behind to support her kids, serve her community, and walk alongside her husband in ministry, she never stopped being an advocate. She was there for me and every child in that room. She continued to visit many of my students with food and gifts, even after she left. She was bold enough to brave the Dixie Classic Fair field trip with me, which turned into a 40 minute epic adventure of us wandering aimlessly with our kids!! I even had to call YVEDDI and give them a piece of my mind (even though it was not their fault we were in the wrong blazing hot parking lot). I understand they have a recording of my fiery tirade and laugh about it today.
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| this makes me laugh!!! |
She fed the hungry. She loved the hurting. She taught the at-risk. She once rescued a stray dog off the playground, and when she found it a home with another teacher, she came in the next day with all the supplies that dog could need.
Eventually, Mrs. E came back healthy, and for a little while, the three of us were this perfect fam. We wished we could’ve kept Mrs. L forever, but her journey took her elsewhere. Before she moved away with her family she wrote me a beautiful letter. As I opened it in my bedroom, I cried big tears as she described the year we worked together as “unforgettable and wonderful.” To me, she was the one who made that year bearable-she was the unforgettable one.
Today, we had Mrs. L.'s funeral.
I won’t lie, it’s hard to understand. Tonight I went all the way back 10 years in my Facebook messages as I read all the things we shared back and forth always touching base every few months. She was a hoot. She would share everything from lopsided crafts she was doing with her preschool class to being referred to as “the ministers wife” as opposed to people using her real name. She would always write 'I hope your school appreciates you. I hope you don’t work too hard'.
The world feels dimmer without her light. But I am so thankful that God placed her in my life during a time when I needed her most.
She was the most selfless person. I will carry her memory, her wisdom, and her love with me always.
Rest well, Mrs. L. You made this world better, you made me better.
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