Honoring Ginger's Memory

 Today, it is important for me to honor, Ginger, my mother in law by sharing a few memories.


I remember early on when Darren and I had just started dating, and it was time for me to meet his mother. Darren warned me (and I am paraphrasing), “Now, I will tell you, Mama is a little different. She likes to keep to herself and is particular about her things.”

When I arrived at her house, I remember noticing a home that was lived in, a big happy dog, stacks of National Enquirer magazines, and Entertainment Tonight on the TV.  That evening, Ginger and I talked about Hollywood (because I was all into it).  I felt right at home. From that moment on, Ginger always reminded me of my favorite Granny Hamilton.


As time went on, Darren and I got married, then came Connor, then Carlee, and we naturally became a family unit. 

This past week, as we sifted through countless photos of Ginger and the family, one of my favorite discoveries was her high school scrapbook. It was filled with pictures and mementos from a time before she was a mother and a grandmother, before I ever knew her. She was an adorable blonde, full of life, and I know she had fun. If she were here, she might even say, too much fun!


One of the sweetest things in her scrapbook was the way she had taped down little keepsakes from friends and boys she had crushes on- a bubble gum wrapper, a broken pencil, a movie ticket. It was so innocent and charming. And it got me thinking if I were to create a scrapbook of Ginger’s life, what would I include?






 1. A Cross: The very first thing I would add is a cross, because Ginger believed in Jesus as her Lord and Savior.  While it wasn’t always easy for her to attend church, she found great wisdom in the teachings of Dr. Charles Stanley. I often heard her remind the kids, Always trust God…Always pray to God….
I know she prayed over her family.
I personally find great peace in scripture, especially in how relevant it remains today.  The scriptures speak truth. That is why I take joy in knowing Ginger is in heaven.  The Bible describes heaven in so many beautiful ways, like in in the book of Psalm in Chapter 16- King David discusses how God’s presence will be with him to the grave, through the grave, and beyond the grave.  David says, You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.   David had no fear at death, he knew God was waiting with pleasures and happiness.

In Philippians 3:20-21 shares: “As we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus. He will transform our bodies to be like his glorious body by the power that enables him to do everything."
Can you imagine Ginger waking up in heaven whole, restored, with both eyes, no headaches, no breathing troubles just feeling good? What a glorious thought.


2. Dogs and Animals:
Let’s be honest.  Half the scrapbook would be dedicated to dogs and animals. Ginger had a gift with them, and they adored her in return. She passed that same gift down to her granddaughter, Carlee. There is a reason we chose a picture of Ginger with her dog, Skipper, for her obituary, because we knew our place in the pecking order! 
When she called in the evenings, her check-in order was clear: first, ‘How is Maggie Jane? (our family dog), Are you feeding her? Walking her? Petting her?” Then she would ask about the grandkids, and finally, the adults.
I find peace in knowing that Ginger is in heaven, surrounded by God’s animals.


3- Laughter In Big, Bold Letters:
I would include the letters of 'Laughter' with many memories.  Ginger knew how to find joy in life’s simple moments. She faced many challenges in her life, but she never lost her ability to laugh.
If you asked our family what brings back the happiest memories, it wouldn’t be big houses, job titles, or expensive gifts. It would be the moments laughing at pure nonsense, baking muffins with Carlee, playing blackjack with Connor, talking about that old car she once had with Darren, or watching an old comedy for the hundredth time.
And, of course, there were the vacations- especially the infamous one. The night before we left for the beach, our van broke down, so we had to get a rental. Darren pulled up in this small car, crammed all five of us inside with our luggage, and Ginger and I took turns being squished in the backseat with two rowdy kids on the way to the beach.   One thing after another happened- terrible room, Carlee skinned her knee on the Mayday putt putt golf, and Ginger had such a bad nose bleed she had to go to the emergency room for hours.  All we could keep saying is,   “We're STILL all gonna have so much fun we're gonna need plastic surgery to remove our smiles!”   
On the way back home in the car, Ginger brought this little bag of Little Debbie cakes, and I was stress-eating them. She turned to me and said,  “Are you eating my cakes” And I, with a mouth full, replied,  “No, I’m NOT eating your cakes.”  I didn’t smoke, what else was I to do!?  
Everything that could go wrong on that trip did. But we laughed about it then, and we still laugh about it now. Funny enough, we can’t even remember the good vacations but we will never forget that one!


4. A Peace Sign or Guitar
I would have to tape down a peace sign or a guitar because Ginger was cool. She was a child of the 60s.  She was a woman who had the King, our Savior, in her heart and the King of Rock and Roll in her soul. She saw Elvis LIVE in concert. She even took a solo bus trip to Graceland, completely out of character for her, but we are so thankful she did it. She watched all the Fast & Furious movies (her favorite was Ludacris), and thought Mark Wahlberg was just as great as the rest of us girls do.  Connor jokes by age 6, he learned how to not get stabbed by watching Walker, the Texas Ranger with Meme.  Ginger enjoyed movies, music, and staying up late until her last days.  She passed that love of cinema down to Connor.



5. A Large Circle
The last thing I would add to this scrapbook is a circle for family.  More than anything, Ginger’s world revolved around family. She wouldn’t trade any of them for Elvis tickets (maybe a good dog, but not Elvis).  
Ginger would laugh at that.
Ginger was not the most outwardly expressive person, but when we all came together, you could see her happiness. She loved Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and any visits. If she had been a millionaire, she would have spent every dime on her mom, her sisters, her brother,  grandkids, nieces, and nephews.  I really think what Ginger taught me most about family is that family is not picture perfect and that is ok. Sometimes family is when you bicker, you say the wrong thing, and at times you can make the wrong choices, but like a circle, family always unites. The nature of her family circle shows that her family endures through challenges.
One of the most important relationships in her life was with her son, Darren. Early in our marriage, I didn’t quite understand their bond. But Darren always said, “Just wait until Connor gets older”. and I would think ‘ok but I don’t think I’ll be calling him everyday’.  
(Oh I call or text Connor every day.  I’m much worse.)
Darren learned how to be a great father because of the love he received from his mother.  In Exodus, The Bible emphasizes the importance of children honoring and caring for their parents, particularly as they age.  Darren made God and his Mom proud until the very end.



I will leave you with a few words from Elvis, appropriately titled, Crying in the Chapel:

"You saw me crying in the chapel
The tears I shed were tears of joy
I know the meaning of contentment
Now I am happy with the Lord."

Ginger, we are so grateful you now know the meaning of true contentment. 

May you rest in peace.